I remember this persuasion lesson from “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” almost 20 years ago. Maria is scheming to get Maria’s husband Kosta to let their daughter Toula work a different job.
Maria Portokalos:
We must let Kosta think this was his idea.
Aunt Voula:
Alright, I know.
Maria Portokalos:
That he came up with it.
Have you ever tried to persuade an unwilling subject?
Maybe you were making a case to your dad for a coed teenage sleepover or persuading your boyfriend to go to a musical parody of “Fast and the Furious.” (I wish).
And in strategizing how to get the yes, you said, “it has to be his idea.”
It’s a smart tactic.
But what about when we’re on the other end of the persuasion?
Confession time.
I will resist an idea for the simple fact that I didn’t come up with it.
And uh… I’m not the only one.
Not always, of course.
But enough.
We think we know what’s best and can figure it out ourselves.
Thank you very much but I already thought of that here’s exactly why that idea just won’t work.
Of course, keep your agency and listen to yourself.
But if you’re coming up with excuses…
Don’t be a Kosta.
To being better without rom-com manipulation,
Elizabeth