Last week I shared decision-making tricks to improve your ability to follow through on what you say you want to do. I’ve used them all myself and know they can be helpful, BUT…
I’m rethinking them.
It started with the most popular option (and one I’ve used the most), which is imagining a future version of yourself and making the choices she would want you to make.
I love Future Elizabeth and want to make her proud, and I like thinking that I’m giving her a better life.
But doesn’t Present Elizabeth deserve nice things, too?
Looking more closely at the tips I shared, they all rely on helping you see your own needs as external.
You ask what you’d do for someone else–either directly in the case of a loved one or indirectly as a different version of yourself (younger, older). You do the yoga class for them, not you.
So what’s the problem?
We avoid doing nice things for ourselves.
Our instinct is to place the needs of others before our own. Considering others is necessary and valid, but it can be detrimental if we prioritize outside needs without giving enough attention to our own.
I want the best for Future Elizabeth, I really do. And everything I do to take care of myself in the moment helps her. But I also want to be good to myself because I deserve it, right now.
I still stand by the tips. If using them helps you achieve what you want, that’s what matters most for you–present or future.
But we should also empower ourselves to show more self-compassion. Trust me, Present Elizabeth is already thanking me for it.
To being better without being a martyr,
Elizabeth