How to Question Your Own Worries

How to Question Your Own Worries

The other day I was talking to a friend about the possibility that she will lose her job when my reaction went from empathy to eye-roll in the amount of time it takes to realize you put salt in your coffee instead of sugar. What generated such callousness?  She told...
Being Right vs Being Happy

Being Right vs Being Happy

When I say this is the best lesson I’ve learned to improve relationships with everyone from loved ones to strangers, I’m not exaggerating.  It’s one of those simple to understand but difficult to put into practice things. (I’ve been thinking a lot about ideas like...
Why “Let It Go” Is Incomplete Advice

Why “Let It Go” Is Incomplete Advice

Yesterday, I shared how my boyfriend’s dad uses an effective strategy to reduce the stress of minor annoyances, like the morning bowl of Frosted Mini-Wheats that never quite makes it to the sink.   His strategy is as simple (and complex) as this: Let it go. A...

Squashing Stupid Disagreements Before They Happen

Have you ever picked up a wet towel from the bed, saw the damp spot on the comforter, and thought, this could be the day I lose it? Minor annoyances feel like legitimate grievances in the moment. A wet towel spirals into “I do everything around here!” faster than it...
What You Say After These Two Words Matters

What You Say After These Two Words Matters

I was lying. While I didn’t realize it then, I see it now. I was discussing an issue with a friend and said, “I’m not trying to be tit-for-tat, but…”  You can finish that sentence with something like “I drive every time” or “we always go to her place.”  I was...